literature

Snowy Circumstances 10

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Is that all?

["Is that all?" I tell you you're no longer among the living and you ask if that's all. That's not enough?]

It's not like there's a lot I can do about it. Not what I expected out of the afterlife, but then I always figured it is what you make it. Nothing personal, but this is not how I was planning to spend eternity.

[Until you reincarnate, anyway.]

I knew it! Suck on that, Sister Heck.

[A nun named-]

Yeah, I know. Nun named for the underworld. One of them, anyway. She was a bitch of a teacher, but the education itself beat the crap out of the public junior high. But you already knew that.

[True, I did.]

So what now? You said we're on a deadline, and I don't think you're gonna keep me in this not-really-an-office for the next quadrillion years. Am I expected at Anubis' scales? Maybe Charon's holding the ferry for me?1,2

[That's up to you really. You'll see in a minute.]

I'd ask you to explain but I get the feeling you won'-ow!

[Three, two...]

Where'd I go just now? And I'm dead, why did that- OW!

[This should be fun.]

I'm not as dead as you say, am I?

[Nope. As Miracle Max would say,-]

I'm only mostly dead, which means I'm still a little bit alive. Crash cart?

[Yup. You're in the Vandenberg Hospital's OR, dying on the table. It's up to you if you want to go back. There's a space waiting for you in Valhalla. You more than earned it, but if you want to go back I'll help.]

As they say, I've got some-

[Unfinished business?]

That omnipotent grin can really get on a mortal's nerves.

[But I'm right, and you're smiling about it.]

Yeah, yeah. Right. Send me back.

[Take a deep breath. No, you don't have lungs here but it helps with the transfer. And you'll want to say something when you get there.]

Hey, one more thing - who are you? Not any god I recognize, but then that's not surprising.

{laughs}
[Thanks for the compliment, but I'm just the gatekeeper's assistant. Interning for a position at Archives right now, hence the interview.]


You're a college student??

[You were expecting maybe Errol Flynn?]

Wipe that smirk off your-OW!


***

Nngh...ow.

"Morning, sleepyhead."

'Larica?

"Hey."
1: referring to the 'weighing of the heart' from Egyptian mythology where Inpw (Anubis being the Greek form) would weigh the deceased's heart against the feather of truth to determine what afterlife they went to.

2: Charon (Greek: Χάρων) also spelled Kharon, is the boatman in Greek mythology that ferried the souls of the dead across the River Styx into the underworld.

---
A stitchwitch friend read the first few of these way back and wondered out loud what it'd read like if the main character was dead at the time, and I thought it was an interesting idea, so here you go. Gotta say though, this one didn't flow so well as the others. I've had people tell me my work sounds like I rolled out of bed and started writing, but this one felt a little awkward coming out onto paper. screen. whatever, you get the drift. I'm open to suggestions as far as editing/CC goes. For the record these are all raw posts, I do little if any editing.
© 2014 - 2024 pre-heresyKharn
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Dustfish's avatar
Hah. I like it. I really like it. Being a medical-Navy brat I found the references both appropriate and not overbearing. Good flow, even the last chapter, despite what you think of it. I can't really offer much be way of suggestions for improving it. If anything, I would recommend you do a word count and see if you can't get it published in Asimov or some other monthly writers' mag.